Truth

Truth is an interesting concept, and I've had some time to reflect on the meaning of it.



I was "terminated" over a month ago.  It was 3 weeks + 1 day
before I was employed again - pretty good considering how long it took
me to find a job doing SOMETHING computer related (even though it was
in a helpdesk).



The "truth" of what happened will never be known by anyone.  Sure,
I can take what I know, my experiences, some of the rumors, some
observations, and put together a pretty good idea of "truth", but the
actual events that led up to me leaving IBM will never really be known
by anyone in whole.



Which is frustrating.  I can't speak about what I know, nor can I
speak about the terms that I left IBM with.  But the truth, at
least according to me, is that I was let go for no real reason.



And that hurts.



Yes, its a job, yes I've got another job, and while I'm sure it will be
good, its frustrating that in one moment, it managed to turn my world
on its head.



I'm now the Tech Guy at The Gear Centre, a group of companies that
deals primarily with the transportation industry (think gear as in,
transmissions).  But its not a job in IT, for a company that
"does" IT.  Maybe thats why I'm not turning down interviews for
what I percieve to be better positions.  I don't know.  Maybe
its still newbie blues in that sense.



The truth is, I had a plan in mind, and that plan involved spending a
lot more time with IBM.  The truth about that, is in one moment,
back in November when my then-manager's manager told me I was on the
move, I thought that my fate was sealed, and that the project I was
moving to would be the end of me.



Funny how that little thought actually came to fruition.



I hope, in some deep corner of my mind, that my friends took a stand
for me, said that what was happening wasn't right, and all that nice
fuzzy stuff.  The truth is, it was a lesson to all: Look out for
number 1, because no one else will.



As the last few items of my existance at IBM get closed off, and my
life returns to some form of normal (including WoW raid drama.. 
who could do without, and chasing Jayman to actually finish stuff from
2 years ago), I realise that I will be like everyone else: An email
will have gone out, the people who I call friends, and I was fortunate
enough to have them call me friend will be upset - for a bit.  The
people who knew me, and maybe didn't like me, or disagreed with some of
the things I said and did, will have a small smile to themselves. 
The people who sorta knew me, and the people who I worked to earn trust
and respect, will see the email as the "truth": Tim was let go from
IBM, and don't you dare talk to him on company time.  The loss of
respect, and the whispers behind the closed doors are what unsettles me
most, I think - I can't defend myself, and even if I could, would
anyone listen?



The people who know me, and trust me, and still are interested in
talking to me when all this was said and done, have come out of the
woodwork.  And I thank those who have.  Since I can't tell
you the "truth", because I don't know it, I resort to hope.  I
hope you trust me when I tell you it was unjust.  I hope that you
believe me when I tell you I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.



I think this will be my last IBM post, unless something ugly rears its
head.  It was fun, it should have lasted longer, and in the end,
it was wrong.



I hope I'm better for it.

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