Its not that I'm not happy. I have a beautiful wife, a loving family, friends who are very supportive.. but somehow I feel EMPTY. Thats the only word I can use to describe how I feel.
There's nothing to do.
Before we got married, we had a discussion as to what we should expect from each other, and what we weren't happy with about the way we did things.
This actually came out of an unrelated argument, but it shed some light on some things that I could be doing better to help nurture our relationship. As such, I've been trying not to work from home, trying to spend more time with Holly, taking an interest in the things she does, and so on.
But I feed off the busyness and that form of 'stress' - and I use the word stress only because it is - and it motivates me to a certain point.
So without that element present, I need to find something to fill its place. I've been doing a bit of C++ coding for some projects.. at work. I've been considering some web based apps that I would like to develeop.. for work. Notice a thread here? Because it is such a big part of my life (heck, its what I wake up for every day), it drives what I do and think about.
I don't know. I wish I could find something that would keep everyone happy, but I'm a creature of habbit. I like tinkering on my computer and with my gizmos and stuff, but I can't do that and keep my wife happy.
And I need to keep my wife happy - not just for her, but for us, so that our marriage can be happy.