I'm really sorry that I can't do what you want me to do.. nevermind the fact that I'd probably get fired, and what you're asking me is really against your own company's policies...
So eat me. Talk to my manager. He's going to tell you the exact same thing I just did, but probably in a deeper voice, which means it's more official.
Once again, eat me.
How about I call you at 7:30 AM and tell you that you suck and I want to talk to your manager.